People often feel like there are certain standards they need to meet. For some people they are told this by family and friends, others often tell it to themselves. These standards are often created as society tell us that we need to live, look, and act a certain way in order to be happy. When people do not meet these standards, it can cause a decrease in their self-worth and self-esteem. Self-esteem is the way we love ourselves. It can be defined as confidence in one’s self-worth or abilities. Self-esteem can be affected by and have an effect on the things we do, the people we surround ourselves with, and the mental health disorders that we have. Without good self-esteem it is often hard to feel satisfied with life. But how can you increase your self-esteem?
Step One: Examination The first way you can work towards increasing your self-esteem is by examination. Examine the beliefs you have, the things you are telling yourself, and the things you are hearing that causes your self-esteem to decrease.
Step Two: Question After you are aware of the things that are causing you to lose self-esteem, question them. Why do you believe them? Is there evidence to support them? Is it okay for you to not be good at something right away? How are you effected if you do not meet the standards that are set for you? Are the people that are not supporting you worth having in your life? And most importantly, are there other things that you are proud of?
Step Three: Love Yourself Focus on the qualities that you love about yourself. Make changes in your life to support the new beliefs you want to have about yourself. Love yourself by daily reminders of things you do well. Encourage yourself to practice the things that you want to get better at. And find ways to love yourself every day!
By Keli Gwost MS, LPC
August 7, 2019